We are always searching

A million and one different reasons, really, but mostly because I am not at all comfortable with the idea of something this personal being so naked.

FRIENDS-ONLY. . .

You're never gonna understand what you're seeing
But later you'll pretend you can and you'll mean it
You might think it's all in your head but you're not certain anymore
You might think it's all in your head but you're not certain anymore

I wouldn't put much talk in that 'cause the fact is
It doesn't matter what you ask, it's who you're asking
Well I'd say go throw it away if it's not working anymore
Well I'd say go throw it away if it's not working anymore

I promise this is not a test, it's just I want you to be sure
It all comes back to common sense, I guess that's what you're looking for
I'll have to ask you to speak up so we're sure that
We're all perfectly clear on what we're ignoring
Well I'd say go throw it away if it's not working anymore
Well I'd say go throw it away if it's not working anymore

( Make me happy, make me thin, make me beautiful within... )

TEAM CHINA

Vivek likes taking pictures in class


Don't break the early hours just yet - it is too still. Breaking it would be almost rude. Creep into the kitchen.. no appetite so forget breakfast. Bury self in blanket again and switch laptop on... Someone just rang the doorbell but I can't really bring myself to leave the comfort of my bedroom. Bring your own fucking keys...

Gab came back a week ago with a fairy for me. Brea, yet another very lovely gift. She sits on the ledge of my window in all that dusty iron glory!
One of the buttons on my skirt fell out last night - I am so glad my boyfriend can sew because I am a joke and I have no intentions to learn anytime soon. I do frown upon my countless shortcomings quite frequently though...
I was wondering if obstacles are really necessary to keep a relationship alive. What then, does one that sails smooth all the way without any discord show? Obviously not that both parties are so completely in love with each other. I don't know, maybe that they don't communicate enough? Are they just skimming the surfaces of the world they created? I suppose it depends doesn't it? Nothing is perfect but "if you learn how to tolerate imperfections, then everything will be perfect"...

Spent roughly thirteen hours trying to figure out why it is different these days. Not in the least bit more distant but the opposite, actually. Am I the one who has changed? Is there less you desire now? Have you, without realizing, gotten too comfortable in my presence?
Do I look different to you now...? Perhaps it is the fact that I am etched into you so deeply that merely lying around together and wrapping me into you would suffice. Yesterday evening it dawned on me so suddenly.
Am I no longer enough to stir you now? I want more. Will we always be like this? Have I softened you too much?
I cannot have one without losing another. I am greedy and I want both - I have a feeling you won't give it to me. So "my life, not yours"? Was that a clear division, a fine line you want to draw between you and I?
On another note... starting today I shall try to judge less. Being the cold bitch that I am, it is a big step and it isn't going to be easy. All about change and moving forward. My face is painted and made of marble. My eyes are blank. Appearances are so deceiving. Got to go... I have a couple of slides to get started on. School is boring the fuck out of me.

1) I wonder if our thoughts interlace.... we seem to cross each other, understandably wary as we do so..
2) You are like a breath of fresh air. A pretty, glowing face that one such as myself would never really tire of looking at.
3) Maybe I miss you and your odd ways, how we used to live for each other? best friend worst enemy
4) You are my oxygen
5) I will always stay with you because you are a gem: my gem
6) You have a knack for seeing things that I don't
7) Time will clear your troubled head and you will find yourself free again someday, because that's how things should always be, with you
8) You are 83% and I'd like to shelter you
9) Sucker for butter and maple syrup on waffles you are, young obiwan
10) I am here and I could be there with you I could try to make you laugh even while you're awake

Change is all around us... people leave, creating little holes in our hearts - whether they mean to, or not. Our Mel is flying off tomorrow afternoon. New start, new life. I'm going to miss her so much..
Can't sleep tonight. Too much to think about. I would like to float in a bubble with somebody who will hold my hand and keep the shadows away for a little while longer...

We can run together, wild, anywhere you want. I will follow you... Will I ever tire of you? Will you keep me.

Reached home in the morning and couldn't think of a single reason why I fret so much over certain insignificant things. Does brushing matters aside really bring us closer? Do we still harbor our icy emotions underneath all of this love?
14:36 now... am going out in the evening for some fresh air. Spend time with a special friend. My eye is still swollen but it is, like everything else, temporary. . .

This is history in the making. This, is Singapore meets China. This is my friend GUO RUI from a few oceans away...



Yesterday we all went for azn food in the evening.
Fab and Mel's definition of that: chicken rice
Nessa's and mine: sambal kangkong/stingray

My team won, obviously! Woke up this morning with my left eye swollen... I left for home an hour after I reached school. Life > School anytime. By "life" I mean playing Travis on repeat and slipping into sweet oblivion for three hours.
I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if I woke up tomorrow and realize that my whole face swelled up. I think we're starting a little something here....